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’ ‘Had.’ ‘What?’ ‘Had been raped your whole life.’ ‘Now isn’t the time to be a grammar Nazi.’ ”Have’ implies that it is a continuing thing. Last time I checked, I promised to never let that happen.’ She just kind of stared at me, almost waiting for me to say something. It was fucking unnerving. ‘How can I make this better?’ ‘You can’t.’ Those are some of the most painful words she has ever said to me, especially because at the moment, not only did she mean them, they were true. ‘What can I do to help?’ ‘Nothing.’ A strange new feeling surged through my chest. Is this the feeling of my heart breaking? Is this what it feels like to have one’s feelings trampled in the wake of a tragedy? ‘Do you want me to leave you alone?’ ‘I think that would be best.’ She said, looking away from me. Yes, this was indeed the feeling of my heart breaking. I got up and walked towards the door, stopping just short of opening it. I had no idea where I was going to go. The world was far too populated to find. ’ I laughed, ‘Guy,’ I said fixing him with my gaze, ‘I don’t mind. I don’t mind that you told him I was your girlfriend either.’ ‘He didn’t, did he. Oh dear, I told him not to. I’m sorry, bugger!’ Now I had to press this, ‘What are you sorry about, that he told me or that you told him I’m your girlfriend.’ This made him think and forced his hand really. ‘Do you mind?’ ‘Mind what?’ knowing full well what he meant. ‘Mind that I said you were my girlfriend.’ ‘Do you want me to be?’ I asked smiling at him. I could see him gathering himself for what he thought would be a difficult time. Little did he know. He looked up at me, eyes wide open, literally and emotionally, ‘Yes,’ was all he said but he said it with such a depth of feeling that it frightened me a little bit. ‘That’s all right then because I want you to be my boyfriend: will you?’ This seemed to startle him. I don’t think he had worked out that if I was his girlfriend, he was my boyfriend. ‘Well?’ I said. He smiled his lovely.
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