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"Quick as a wink Janice whispers back "You got no choice Bobbi, you have got to switch identities right here." She rummages in her purse and hands me her lipstick, Bing Cherry perm-gloss. "Put on some lipstick while I look over the situation."Unthinkingly, I find myself spreading lipstick on my pursed lips while holding a cosmetic mirror. I can't believe I did this; it is like some robot is in control of my body and all I can do is look on. It suddenly occurs to me I have just passed the point of no return.Next she undoes the straps of her 3-inch tan colored heels and slides them over to me. "Take off your clumpy shoes and put these on, quickly Bobbi." If I didn't know any better, I would say Janice planned this. Her shoes perfectly match my brown slacks. She adds, "Quickly, Bobbi!" and I am totally preoccupied in getting the straps buckled while I am fixated on my perfectly polished Bing Cherry toenails."Now, take off your sweater." I was wearing a tan colored see through. Which was when the "quit the job you love so our new neighbors can stop looking down their noses at your truck" nonsense started. Never mind that I had been the one that paid for the house. We can forget details like that.I had built up a sizable business. She might make more than me, but it wasn't by much. I enjoyed the work I did, and the neighbors, in the odd event that they actually cared about anything but the big diesel engine starting up early in the morning, could go commit an anatomical impossibility.I steadfastly refused to drop my business, and so she steadfastly refused to have sex with me. No big deal. It went on like this for several years, until Jacob was 17, Megan was 12, and the two of us were 35. No sex for five years? Well, the alternative was having sex with a nag that I had stopped caring about some years ago.No, that's not true. I cared about her- you can't live with someone for over 17 years and not care about them. I just didn't like her, and didn't find her.
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