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She was sound asleep in the middle of a double bed. There was a bolt lock on her door which I locked in place. She was uncovered to the waist with one breast partially exposed because the men's dress shirt she was wearing was not buttoned. I sat the coffee on the night stand. I thought, if it was not for the fact that her mother had in effect told me I had less than two hours to do what I wanted, I could just sit here and watch my love sleep. Instead, I lifted the shirt away from the partially exposed breast. Her dark pink nipple seemed quite large, being all flattened out and relaxed on her small body. I could not resist giving it a tiny squeeze. It reacted immediately by puckering into an erect tit. I looked to her face. There was a slight upturn of her lips, but no sign that I had interrupted her peaceful sleep. Nearly laying on the bed, I brought my mouth to her tit, kissing and gently sucking it. In addition, I slid a hand under the other side of her shirt to gently. The fact that he thought I didn’t trust him ... that was the worst. Because the truth was the opposite – it was me. I was unworthy, and that was the whole problem. It wasn’t that he was a bad person who would leave me – it was that I deserved to be left. He should have wanted to leave, and that made it possible to believe that maybe, just maybe, he did.I closed my eyes, exhausted, and the image of my husband’s tear-streaked face played on the back of my eyelids. It was so real, so heart-wrenching, that I sighed and opened my eyes again. Even my own imagination was giving me shit for being such a jerk. Because he didn’t look as devastated in my head as he did ... offended. Offended that I thought he would leave me, that his love wasn’t as real as mine?I shook my head. It was a perfectly valid assumption, really. He was Alistair – hero, Prince, Grey Warden – and I was just ... me.I winced; I could almost hear Sigrun scolding me, telling me about how Alistair had reacted when I’d been.
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