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.. where did you find the stove?” she asked me.“That was in the garage,” I said. “The Warm Morning stokers and the beer fridge were in the bunkhouse. There’s still a bunch of old stuff out there.” I waved at the little two room shack in the north east corner of the fenced in yard.“Really?”“Wanna see?”“Sure,” Connie said.We walked over to the little house. A van was turning around at the corner of the esses. It stopped, couple of guys popped out and looked right at us.I had a feeling. They jumped back in the van and started driving slowly back towards our drive.“Connie ... back to the house ... NOW!” I said.We started to run ... the van sped up.I heard the gate at the drive crunch.“Can you shoot?”Connie said, “Yes.”“Will you shoot?”She hesitated, “Umh.”“Never mind,” I said. I popped open a shelf drawer and took out Hairy’s Smith. Ever since his 1911 had jammed, Hairy had converted to wheel guns. “Behind the door is a rifle, the magazine is in it. Get it please.”It’s a good quarter mile. I have to go back into my memory banks and reconstruct the scenes, remember old girlfriends, recall unimaginably sexy memories. During every single one I get horny. I always play with myself and that leads to other things. You understand. At least once. Usually twice, and sometimes more. That all takes time.Then I have to go back a couple of days later and proofread. I always get another hard-on, and have to jerk off again. I'm telling you, this pornography stuff isn't as easy as it's cracked up to be. But I do it anyway, because I'm an artist, trying to bring a little pleasure into the world.My wife, June, thinks I'm crazy. Or at least she used to think so. After the first few stories, I asked her to help me with the proofreading part. I would print the stories out and bring them to her, and watch her as she read them. Now I know on my own personal Peter Meter that each story has to have a rating of 9.3 or better before I'll let it out the door. But I never had any way of knowing.
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