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Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.#8 Life is sexually transmitted.#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a. "Oh Baby Baby, Baby Baby!"The sound of the oldies ringtone barely reached Wendi's ears over the din of her stereo. Not pausing in her toenail polishing, she reached her left hand over and grabbed the phone from next to her pillow."Hello, Wendi's house of pleasure. You show 'em, we blow 'em." Wendi, I need your brother!"Her hand stopped mid polish."Um, since when is he your type?" Since I'm running away from home tonight! Go get him!"The thirteen year old redhead knew she wasn't the swiftest drawer in the knife, but she couldn't have heard that right. Looking down at the number, to confirm it was in fact who she thought it was, she gave the only possible reply."What the fuck did you just say?"Snow blew past the window as Mary sat at her computer. On the screen she could see Wendi and her older brother, Steve. The redheaded football player was standing behind the 8th grader, having to bend down to stay in the webcam's frame. He was shaking his head in disbelief."WHEN did this happen?".
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