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She didn’t even know why she was here… She just felt… drawn. She adjusted her weight and pulled her knees up to her chest as she continued to gaze at the stars. How long had it been? Years? Decades? The last was probably closer to the truth. After the disaster with the hunters in Louisiana she had picked up and moved to Europe. She’d been there for almost 77 years. She sighed deeply wondering what in the world it was that made her come back here. This place held nothing but painful memories for her. The last time she had been here, it has in his arms. She lowered her head for a moment as the thought entered her mind. Though it was so long ago it felt like yesterday. She remembered everything about him and the time they shared. Her perfect memory was such a curse to her at times as well as it could be a blessing. She smiled to herself despite the pain. From his looks to his rough voice… to his touch. She missed him so much. What ever happened to him all those years ago? She had to. I know that life continued, I ate, slept, I went to work, watched TV, I even went to my beloved Texas home football games down in Austin. But if I didn't have the ticket stubs, I would swear I hadn't even watched them on TV.I know I visited with friends and that family came to see me. But for the last six months, I retreated into a deep place where light has never been. If only, if only suicide wasn't a mortal sin--but like that old 60s song Last Kiss."She's gone to heaven so I got to be goodSo I can see my baby when I leave this world."Tonight is Christmas Eve, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow. I've just returned from our midnight candlelight service at church. As we sang endless Christmas carols, something shattered. When my little candle was lit, it illuminated the dark cave of my life.I was singing one of Ginny's favorites, and when I couldn't hear Ginny's powerful, but always off-key, voice, my voice became husky. I lost the tune while the tears I'd.
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