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Eventually, he started having relationships again, but they never lasted long, because Ariel would always become insecure and mess things up. With each failed relationship, Ariel's pain grew more and more, his self-esteem dropped lower and lower, and he became more and more fearful of going out and trying to meet women. And so the times in between relationships got longer and longer. These were the worst times for Ariel-when he didn't have a lover. He felt abandoned and worthless and powerless to change his life. He felt as if he were being punished by some unseen higher force. Part of the problem was that Ariel was still stuck at age 16 emotionally and judged himself with a high school mentality, feeling as though he was laughed at and looked down upon for not having a girlfriend. Ariel felt like a pariah. This pattern continued throughout Ariel's 20s and he was very unhappy. The subject of women, romance and sex rarely left his mind. He was tormented by it. It got to the point. The light from the hallway was silhouetting my form. His eyes seemed to trace the entire glowing outline of my body.“Maybe I died, because all I see is my Angel.”His hand slid up to my wrist and he tugged me to the bed next to him. I wiggled in objection, but he eased me back on the mattress. I was on my back now and he rolled to his side facing me. As he rolled into me, his knee crept up my leg and wedged my knees apart. He kissed me. I was so shocked and excited that all I could do was kiss him back.It felt primal, like he might drag me back to his cave. I wanted him to.That’s when my beer-numbed brain woke up. Reality.His hand had already explored every inch of my stomach, he teased my belly button piercing before continuing down to the waistband of my cotton capri pants.I shivered as I felt him slide into my panties.I tried to speak, but he locked my lips with hungry kisses.I knew this was not what I wanted. Brett was not even on my radar this year. My junior year had goals that.
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