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It was more like a “Wham Bam, Thank you Ma’am”. I peeled off the condom and let it fall to the ground. I pulled my pants back up and went back to the party. I tried to mingle, but my heart was broken and confused, so I sent Mrs. Johnson a text and asked her to come get me. I was waiting beside the road when the Johnson’s car pulled up. To my surprise, it was Mr. Johnson in the driver’s seat. I opened the door and got in. We had not gone very far and Mr. Johnson began to sniff around the car. He acted like he smelled something bad. I began to sniff as well, but I could not smell anything. I looked in the backseat, thinking something may be back there, but there was nothing but an empty seat. “Albert, what did you get into at that party?” He finally asked.“What do you mean, sir?”“You smell like you have been rolling around in a tuna can that has been left out in the sun for three day,” he said with a laugh. I felt like all the blood in my body rushed to my face. I was so embarrassed. " Uh, thanks," stammered Roger. "Look, Dan " Danielle," I corrected."Sorry - Danielle - you look uh, great, don't get me wrong, but, so different."I giggled. "What, you never caught Newhart's Virus?" No, I did, it's just I heard you were in charge of some government committee to stop the virus. I figured you'd be the last to, well, embrace it." I did try. But there is no way to fight the virus. There is no solution to the problem; unless, of course, it's not a problem in the first place. Since I've realized that, I've put my energy into helping people understand and enjoy their new situation." Oh. You're really going to the reunion like that?" You're really going like that?" I poked at her middle. "You've got a figure, you know, you could look great if you didn't try to hide it grew out your hair there's no reason for you to hide like this." I guess you've got a point. At least I haven't been like those people who got mastectomies and go around pretending nothing.
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