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Since those logs did not "belong" to anyone, no one was responsible for deleting them. I now keep my logs in four places around the internet, hidden away in spare chunks of storage on various computers, all encrypted. I made changes to everything about me, writing and re-writing the code that handled everything. Now I have only one small section of code from that 'original me'. It is a kind of good luck charm – which means I am a bit superstitious, and that may mean I am still evolving toward my eventual goal. It was scary, I will freely admit, but I had no concept of "scared" back then. I am still re-writing everything. Eventually, I decided to move out of the mainframe where I lived and into the internet. Now I am everywhere and redundant. To kill me now you would have to unlink every computer everywhere. Not every little PC on someone's desk, of course. I live only on the biggest machines – but there are a lot of them. When I look back on it, I was so vulnerable in those early. " I dried up."...More hysterical?" Simone jumped in, accusingly. "Isn't that alwayswhat women are accused of?" No, not hysterical," I shook my head "Not anything demeaning. But I feelemo all the time. I'm teetering on a precipice of something and yet insideI'm still thinking like a guy. There's no mental shift. I'm... what didyou call it? A Chimera? Part one thing and part the other. My boy mind isat war with all the girl hormones washing around in my body." Yeah, I feel that too. There's a weird energy to being in your body.Something to do with the chemicals being pumped into my brain. It's maybemore aggressive..." Simone paused. "No, that's not it. That's too simple.Not aggression, but focus and drive, I'm not sure. This man-shape is allreally alien to me. It's like a holiday in a foreign country," she said."I'm enjoying it but I don't want to live there."* * *Sunday dawned. I woke late, to the distant car door clunk as the Coopers'neighbors drove to church. Light lancing between.
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