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Her reaction was what I had expected. She pointed at my dick and burst out laughing. I shall remember her words to the end of my life."Damn John, what the hell is that little thing? There is no way any woman is ever going to want you with no more than that to use." I was humiliated and I have not spoken to her since. That was 17 years ago and I remember it as if it was yesterday. Unfortunately, she was correct; my penis is very small and would not do anything for a woman, so I have stayed away from women up until now. The only way I can tell you about it is because I know that it will make you feel more comfortable being here with me. Even if I wanted to do anything to you, I couldn't do any harm. I do have hormones and urges, but I suppress them. This is the dark secret that I have guarded jealously for all these years. Are you still willing to marry me?" Don't we make a pair? We both fear sex, but for different reasons. All I get from sex is pain, which is all I have ever felt. You. .”Message from the QueenIt was inevitable.To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour, ‘ ‘favour, ‘ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell.
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