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Their happiness made me furious. They were doing the same things I had, yet I had been punished, and they just continued with no care in the world. Over that summer, with the recommendation of my coach and doctor, I joined a local gym so I could build up my strength and be ready for the upcoming season. My parents made arrangements for me to work with a trainer at the gym. Kim was a member of my Dad’s church and also the mother of one of my teammates. She agreed to work with me a couple days a week with a regiment to focus on strengthening my shoulder. I was not real happy about some one telling me what to do, but I had no choice. The first week or so I was a real ass. I would not do as Kim instructed and I would half ass do my workouts. One day when my mom dropped me off, Kim met me at the door. She told me that we were not working on my shoulder that day, but my emotions. I was confused, and tried to blow her off. She led me to a back room. In the room there was a table and two. What’s wrong with you Claire?”“I don’t know!” she moaned. “He was ... He didn’t make any move on me at the time. He just sat there and helped me out – like he was a bloody priest! He’s had enough of me and my problems. I think he just put up with me towards the end. I’m sure he was relieved when I left.”“Apart from that first time, you only turned up on his doorstep because you were in trouble, but each time he was delighted to see you; isn’t that the truth?”Claire thought for a moment. “That’s what I mean, he wouldn’t say he’d had enough of me, even he had.” It was said with resignation.“Why didn’t you tell him Peter had died?” Ellen asked, changing tack. “Or that he’d had a second stroke? That’s what I can’t understand.”Claire looked desolate. “When I went back to Peter I knew I needed to put distance between John and me. It was hard going back to Peter knowing how much I’d fallen for John after he’d been so good to me, so I cut John off.“Peter was oblivious to how I was feeling.
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