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"Tears mixed with crusty blood that she wiped away with the back of herdainty hand. Red and brown smeared into patterns that made her skinonly appear more exotic."Or that joint you hid in that hidden spot in my dresser..." The joint inhis dresser? Why would he tell anyone that? Melanie's eyes widened.Seeing the truth of it. "Robb? This is bullshit. This... this justdoesn't happen." What am I gonna do," Robb whimpered. His life, his identity, gone inan instant."I'm happy to be breathing." He staggered over, hugging Melanie. "I'malive, Mel." She squirmed in Robb's embrace. Then broke away when Robbtried to kiss her. She didn't mind girls, wouldn't be the first time.But, this was too sudden."Whoa!" Melanie said. "I'm... I'm not ready for this. Is there any ofthat weed left? The beer? I need to get blazed."Melanie made her way to the kitchen, retrieving two beers out of thedirty refrigerator. Popped the tops and gave one to Robb. They drank insilence, as Robb felt the beer going to his. ‘No, Aunt Anne.’ Anne grunted as she pushed, and another, smaller, turd dropped into the water. ‘It’s alright, Barnaby. It’s just that I don’t want my nephew getting arrested or being sent down from Oxford for disgracing himself. I know your father regards those tuition fees as an investment, and I also know he wants to see a return on them. He’s not like your Uncle Brian, who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.’ Another rather squeaky fart escaped from Anne’s bottom and a rapid succession of soft plops landed in the pan beneath her. ‘That feels better. I needed that.’ Barnaby put his hand to his mouth. His eyes were beginning to water at the smell. ‘Phew, it stinks in here!’ Anne couldn’t resist a wicked grin. ‘Well, what did you expect? The scent of roses and carnations?’ ‘Well, no.’ ‘Precisely. Have you ever seen a woman take a dump before?’ ‘No, Aunt Anne.’ ‘Well you have today. Whilst we pee differently, I think you’ll agree that a woman taking shit isn’t all.
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