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"Am I?" she quietly added, almost to herself."Are you?" I finally, gently asked her. She continued to ponder."Maybe?" She said in a tiny voice. "Just a bit?" Oh please, don't be. Please don't be. I love you! I've always loved you." I told her emphatically. But I was speaking to my mother; of course I loved her. I began to realize though that I was also speaking to Judy, who, I realized, I also loved. I loved Judy in a way far different than the way I loved mom. "I really do love you." She was hearing my words as "Mom". We shared another long look. She looked only slightly relieved. "I love you Mom. And, ..." I added slowly, meaningfully, "I love you, Judy." She came fully alert at that. "I love you as my mother, but, ...." Oh please don't" she blurted."I think I love you, ... as Judy." She began to shake her head. "I love you as, ... a lover." No. You can't. We can't. We mustn't." I can't help it." I told her. "I want you that way."There was a long silence where she kept slowly. "Hell, if-n I had the chance, I'd do Wilton, too." She looks stricken. "Aunt Rae, I'm sorry. It's a joke." Mostly. I jump up to try an console her — or something — except I'm still not quite steady so I overbalance and knock us both to the floor. She laughs, which is a good thing.Aunt Rachael's a hot little freak even if she is pushin' forty. Being tangled on the floor with her is way more temptation than I need. I push away from her as gently as I can."Yeah, so, anyway. Ame an' me had this stupid fight about me bein' in love with her an' her not givin' a damn about me — which is stupid anyway since she's already seeing someone else, so what the fuck. But I came home an' they was drinkin' an' I told them an' it kinda went from there."She sighs heavily, "That would explain it." She catches my confused look, "JD was pretty upset by the time we got home and we exchanged a few words." Oh. Oh man." My buzz is beginning to fade and with the clearer head is coming a horrible headache. "I'm.
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