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AWESOME!!!Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised ... Am I wrong?So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a. Slowly, I kissed lower and lower. My kisses would alternate with licks. When my mouth reached her tuft of hair, I kissed it and pressed my face into it. She smelled wonderfully fresh. Perhaps she had placed perfume between her legs. Perhaps she had powdered or used a feminine deodorant spray. Whatever it was, it was enticing.I breathed deeply, inhaling her scent and moved down, my tongue finding the seam where her lips began. I moved my arms under her legs, causing them to bend at the knee and wrapped my arms around her, placing my hands on her breasts. With short up and down strokes, my tongue painted a wet spot against the already moist skin. I began alternating the up and down strokes of my tongue with left to right ones, sometime throwing in circular motions. Periodically, I could feel her legs close around me. When I did, I would come up for air and kiss the skin on her belly, looking up at her lovely breasts in my hands.I would knead her breasts, firmly engulfing her entire.
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