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”The bartender poured him a beer.A couple of minutes later, the man said again: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”The bartender poured him another beer.A few minutes later, the man said for a third time: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”Thoroughly confused, the bartender said: “Excuse me, when are you going to pay for all these beers?”The man said: “Now the arguments start.”A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then finally dies.A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, “Watch the wall!”Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept. At parties Darren always kissed the other girls and coped a feel whenever Jean was out of sight. I was engaged to Jenny but this didn’t stop Darren snogging with her and I noticed her looking at the not inconsiderable bulge in his trousers. If he danced with a girl he forced his groin at them, he’d done this with my fiancé and she always looked flushed afterwards. Jenny married me three days after her eighteenth birthday when I was nineteen, we’d both been virgins on our wedding night. My in-laws never seemed happy. He was domineering, expecting his dinner on the table the moment he walked through the door, if not there was hell to pay. Then he was off up the pub drinking with his mates or at the football ground. When he returned drunk every night he’d hit his wife. My wife Jenny wanted to learn to drive and without asking me and got Darren the black guy to give her lessons while I was at work. I was rather worried about this arrangement, as I’d noticed she was sexually excited on.
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