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" It was a weak argument, but Sharon went for it. "Ok!" They huddled around the computer, each greedily going through the exercise of adding the right size to their virtual shopping cart and then checking out. As soon as they finished, they giggled together, proud of their perfect little conspiracy. -- Four days later, while the girls were both at the gym, the shoes arrived, one box for each. John was the first to answer the doorbell and sign for a package that he knew meant that his wife had been shopping on the Internet again. He was about to shut the door when he saw that the delivery man was about to ring Tim & Susan's door, and he was holding an identical box. John quickly put two and two together. He dropped the box inside his front door and headed next door. Tim had just signed for Susan's shoes when John walked up and said, "You too?" John sighed and replied, "I guess so. God love them, these women are going to put us in the poor house." Tim shook his head. "I know. Susan is. He embarked on a monologue which started with artistic lighting and the beauty of the human form, diverted into a brief history of men’s magazines and ended with images of ageing, middle-class blokes in designer underwear tossing themselves off on the privacy of their own bidets. I had to admit that by the time he had come to a breathless conclusion I sort of got what he was talking about. ‘It’s the perfect scenario. Well-heeled punters having an excuse to leer at tits and clits safe in the knowledge that they’rereally connoisseurs.’ He opened his palms towards me with a look of triumph. I was still not wholly convinced, but had to admit that his enthusiasm was infectious. I responded tentatively. ‘So where do I fit in. Apart from having my lady parts adorning the dining rooms of every semi-detached in the suburbs?’ ‘I need someone to go through these.’ He placed his hand on a pile of dusty old ledgers on the side of his desk. ‘They’re Uncle Dick’s.’ He still couldn’t mention the.
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