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I sent back, ‘Bfn, goodnight’ and dropped my phone back in my pocket.I cleaned up the newest mess first, then started on the kitchen, my hands busy with the mundane task as my mind raced across the evening’s experiences. I was happy that things had gone so well with Julia – the entire day, not just the evening’s events - and relieved that my gate-crashing of her psyche hadn’t ruined things. I realized that in much the same way that I needed to get a handle on my propensity to come when my partner did, I also needed to get a handle on my arousal when it flared suddenly and somehow learn to keep it to myself when the situation demanded.I wondered if I’d be able to ever control it, that paroxysm of intense arousal that had flared with a kiss and then burst into the brilliant incandescence that I’d hammered both Angie and Julia with. I hadn’t much tried to control it with Angie, the first time totally unprepared myself and the second time willingly allowing it to blaze out of control.. I felt like I had never wanted something so desperately in my life. Every fiber of my being was reaching out to him.But he grabbed my arms, folded them behind my back and tied them tight. Oh, what misery this is! I began to squirm, writhing and trying to find a way out. I was able to stand up but only for a second. He pushed me back down again. I was now lying on my stomach, face to the floor. He pulled the remaining length of rope that was tied to my wrists and tied it around my ankles. I am completely helpless. At this point, I felt that I had been taught a lesson. Ok, I thought. Let me up now. Let me love you, let me feel you all over me and feel your body penetrate mine. I laid there unable to move, unable to speak or even see. The minutes passed and nothing happened. I soon realized that I was being punished for my sin. I was being taught a lesson… and it had only just begun. Chapter 3 It must have been 15, 20 maybe even half an hour before I felt his presence in the room again..
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