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We laughed him off the stage,’ said Eddie. ‘Ha! Ha!’ ‘Well, can you blame us,’ said Nick. ‘Whoever heard of a romantic pervert? C’mon, really, that’s oxymoronic. Ha! Ha!’ ‘Of all people,’ said Dave. ‘Hal is anything but romantic.’ ‘He’s the epitome of insensitivity and sexually inappropriate behavior,’ said Sam. ‘There’s not a romantic bone in his body. Ha! Ha!’ ‘For the record, I’d like to start by saying that this is not a mistake or a joke,’ said Hal with a look of unbecoming seriousness. ‘My contest entry is, indeed, a romantic one and I’m not sorry to say that, even after seeing the disappointment on all your faces. Moreover, it is not a romantic story with any of my blood relatives nor is it an incestuous story. Instead, it is a romantic love story with my wife of 15 years.’ ‘Is he serious? He is serious,’ said Eddie. ‘Love? Give me lust to love any day.’ ‘You see, Donna and I were married on National Nude Day on the grounds of a commune in Vermont and I used this holiday to. He’d forgotten, or maybe he’d never really known, most of Tina’s boyfriends didn’t have the common sense to be intimidated. It wasn’t that they were more sure of themselves than Chris, they just honestly didn’t care what he or anybody else thought. Chris cared and it was strangely satisfying to watch him squirming. ‘Lots of kids go through college, get a piece of paper. Doesn’t mean you can do shit. You think I listen to the punk kids who just show up at the office outta school or do you think I tell those snot nosed shits how the real world functions?’ ‘Yes, I’m pretty good.’ Chris replied. Jake raised a brow. ‘Pretty good. You think pretty good is good enough for my baby girl?’ ‘I could always lie and tell you I’m the greatest ever.’ Chris muttered. Filled with impotent frustration. He’d never known what he was supposed to say to Tina’s father. ‘You think this is some kind of joke?’ Jake taunted. ‘I told you, be nice.’ Karen said icily. ‘He knows I’m just playing. Don’t cha Chris?’.
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