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I have so much pent-up anger towards her for denying what I know we both want and need, and want to see her suffer as I have for it.Poor little Ruthie looks like she is about to faint on the spot. I can see that I wasn't imaging the wet spot. She either peed herself just now, or more likely, knowing how much she is attracted to Peter and fantasizes to me about him, creamed herself completely. I can't keep my mind off of that image. Ruth excuses herself clumsily and darts into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. We hear it lock with a loud click. Inside, I think I hear a low and tremulous moan.Looking around, I wonder if anyone else heard her. There's an awkward silence for a moment, some throat clearing, then we all chuckle. "Fangirls," I want to say, but keep my mouth shut. The polite fiction is that Ruth is inside the bathroom freshening up and composing herself. I know the truth, and suspect I might not be alone in that knowledge.The moment has passed and the assemblage begins. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to.
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