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He finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?”This one is compliments of Mario.The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.‘Mrs Fitzgerald, ‘ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’‘Sure, ‘ she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she’d had far too much to drink. And took his order. 10 minutes later she returned with a Big Jehovah’s big breakfast and a mug of coffee (because that’s all mister nervous axe murderer needs, more caffeine in his diet).After Paul destroyed his breakfast and drank enough coffee to run a car on, he called over asking for the bill. It was only at that point that he noticed he was the only one left in the diner. The waitress came over, handed him the bill and asked where he was from, as his accent was defo not from around there. The details of the conversation are lost on me. Those big green eyes of her were a distraction in their own, then that voice, can you ask someone if they know that they sing when they talk, that they have a voice like music that you could listen to all day and a smile, so cute and innocent but with a mischievous side. Not mischievous in the sense of a trouble maker, but in the sense of that it could get her into trouble with guys in the future that find it as irresistible as I do.Paul explained.
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