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It's justyou do something to me and ... (beep).That didn't sound too desperate did it? God what a loser I am. I'vealways preached never leave anything incriminating or embarrassing ontape. I just can't help it right now. I feel helpless. My emotions aretrouncing my better sense. I've placed one call a day for the past fivedays. He hasn't returned a single one. Unfortunately, each one soundsmore desperate than the last. I've been using a dildo to fuck myself to sleep and waking the same way.I imagine it's him and not just some rigid piece of rubber. I imagine myhand is his as I lick the cum from my fingers. I don't even touch myselfanymore, I cum just from being fucked. But I have to be fucked to cum.Why does that make me feel proud?I made such a mess of things down on the cape last weekend. Ioverreacted. I just go so jealous seeing that queen kiss Daniel, I blewup. I behaved like a brat, a spoiled brat. I saw them kiss and Ifreaked. I don't know what came over me. I'm so ashamed. I. This was the daily routine. I didn’t know how to get out of the mess I have got myself into. He had this strange hold on me. I was afraid of him to be honest. It got worse during the week ends. When he mentioned it the first time I thought it was some kind of a role playing. On a Saturday morning Arumugam told me that I had to be his wife all through the week end. That meant, to start with, I had to wear the girls clothes. I didn’t mind it at first as it gave me a nice feeling wearing the bra and panties and the saree. I was wondering why he insisted on the saree being a cotton one until I realized the reason later. The he told me that I have to do what a wife does that means house work! That was a real reversal of role he was supposed to me my servant and here I was playing the role of the wife for him! It started with washing the linen. I have never done any washing in my life, but I managed it. The he asked me to prepare some breakfast. Reluctantly I went along with it, He stood.
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