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But by Christmas, I had gone from being terrified of girls to living the cliché as the official “sexually non-threatening platonic guy friend” of the five hottest chicks in school.As nice as it was to have popular friends and beautiful women to look at all day long, I was also anguishing in a special circle of Hell, where my penis and I were at a constant state of war with each other. The argument went something like this:MY PENIS: “Fuck her! She’s hot!”THE REST OF ME: “No, we’re friends, it’d be weird…”PENIS: “But… tits!”Needless to say, it was a confusing time for me.It all started with Corrine, a bodacious blonde who was clearly destined for the Playboy centerfold. For a late-blooming nerd like me, she was also the most intimidating person on the planet. Every detail about her seemed specifically designed to twist my tongue into knots. First off, she was the tallest girl in school. I was 5’11” and she had maybe half an inch on me (Corrine liked to joke that this was due to her. ” His lips turned down. “You would have moved if I hadn’t shown up? Do you know how crazy that sounds?” “Oh, yeah, right.” She stood up, outrage pouring through her body as she tried to get a grip on herself. “It’s fucking crazy that I’d care about you at all.” “After everything I just said to you? Yes. It is fucking crazy.” She left him on the couch, walking into the kitchen with her head held high. Behind the thin wall between them, she put her empty bottle on the counter and closed her eyes. What the hell was she doing? Even when she was a teenager, Jackie had never fought for a man. With that, she’d never envisioned herself fighting one as he fought against her. “What the fuck?” she whispered, leaning her elbows on the counter and putting her face in her hands. Madness. It was madness. Washington was right. She was out of her mind. A shadow cast on the tile floor. She turned her head to see him standing in the entryway. Arms to his sides, the lines of his face blurred by.
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