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‘But I don’t see any flag.’ I immediately took the straw hat that was hiding my eyes from the sun and relocated it over my engorged member. ‘Who the fuck are you?’ I shrieked, being, in my hermit-like existense, somewhat rusty in the art of polite conversation. ‘Well, there’s no need to be rude,’ Vanessa corrected me. Now that my eyes had accustomed themselves to the bright light I could see that she was an attractive red head in a brightly coloured floral beach wrap. She was just pushing down her sunglasses so that she could look over them, and in spite of my rudeness, she was still smiling at me. I suppose women don’t take a man’s anger quite as seriously when he has no pants on. ‘This is MY island!’ I insisted, not to be easily placated by her, admittedly appealing, smile. ‘I’m afraid not,’ she replied, trying to break it to me gently. ‘Old Man Ramsey would never sell the island,’ I said. ‘That’s right,’ Vanessa agreed, ‘but Old Man Ramsey is dead. And his son is not so. My penis was just as stuck, and Ihad the added pain of the solvent burning as it made contact withwhere my nut sack had been sewn shut.The nurse came in when I was finally ready. She had a clipboard withpaperwork explaining that it was a release for "all the proceduresyou requested." When I hesitated before signing because I didn'tknow what was on the paper, she told me not to worry, because "thedoctor is one of the best plastic surgeons in the world. It'sexpensive, but you're going to love the new you!"I probably should have grabbed my things and fled out of the room. Iprobably should have done a lot of things differently with my life.Instead I started signing the papers. Within the hour I was sedatedand heading into surgery.I woke up with pain coursing through my body. There wasn't any partof me that didn't ache. The nurse came in and gave me a sedative andI drifted back to sleep.A few days passed before I was finally ready to meet the new me. Shewas a very different girl from what.
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