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He doesn't say that anymore.I don't know who I am these days. I look in my eyes in the mirror and try to see but they show me nothing. I cannot explain to Mark how much I hurt because I have caused him such deep pain. The shame of sleeping with another man is constantly on my mind; I can't shake it. If there were some way of explaining to my husband, my love, how I truly feel, I would do it. He won't listen to me though. I'm afraid I've hurt him too much.We haven't talked much since that day when Mark walked out of the doctor's office--just briefly, and about things to do for, or with, Alyssa. I don't know what to say to him anyway. Doctor Jamison says I need to let my guilt slide away but I don't know how to do that. I am guilty... guilty of cheating on Mark, and Alyssa too. My God, the memories of what I said to him the last night I was with that Brian haunt me day and night. I can't sleep without hearing those awful words again. I don't deserve a man like Mark. He's right to have. It wasn't until he got to the bottom that he realized the lights were on. When he stepped into the kitchen the smell of frying bacon hit him, making his stomach growl loud enough Jessica giggled. Junior smiled at the blonde, then nodded to Juanita who was standing at the stove, before grabbing a quick kiss from Sarah. Picking a chair next to Sarah, he accepted a cup of coffee from Juanita."Wayne found a generator hard wired into the house in the shed out back. It seemed to be set up to come on automatically, but had run out of fuel. Janet said it was diesel and they filled it from a tank her grandpa kept here. It wouldn't start at first, but then she remembered she had to bleed it. Whatever that means," Jessica said with a shrug. Junior nodded he understood, and she went on. "The stove is propane, and the tank out back is full, we gathered eggs from the hens that are left. Janet checked them to see which were fresh. She said two of the hens were sitting," Jessica again looked at.
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