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’ I didn’t say anything. I wrote off her statement to the strain and emotion of having miscarried again and having an operation. I figured that within a few weeks or a couple of months she would be inviting me back between her legs. Six months went by and not once had she kissed me like a lover or a wife. She hadn’t joined me in the shower, hadn’t patted me on the butt and was offended the three times I had patted her. I wanted to scream at her, yell, rant, beg or whatever would end the drought! She also all but stopped talking. Conversations with her were marked by short utterances like, ‘Whatever you want.’ ‘I don’t really care’ became almost a mantra. One Friday night at the end of those six months we were invited over to the home of our pastor for dinner. We accepted thinking that there would be a dinner party. It was just the four of us. The dinner was good and the conversation during dinner was mostly about the congregation and the planned summer activities. After dinner we sat. My pulse quickened. Penny had been my best friend for so long. I wanted more, but I was afraid it would ruin our friendship if I tried to take things further. I gently inhaled her scent, closing my eyes as it flooded my senses. To me she smelled like home, or maybe somewhere you remember being really content. She fidgeted, squirming in her seat, then slipped her arm under mine and hugged it so my hand rested on her thigh. “How much longer?” she asked. Good question! How much longer could I do this? “About an hour,” I said. My hand on her leg felt tense and tingly. Things used to be so easy between us. We’d touch and flirt like close friends do, but then my feelings for her got complicated. Her boyfriend at the time being the thing that made them complicated. She wasn’t with him any more, hadn’t been for months, but I still felt that awkwardness of not knowing how to be with her. Penny fidgeted again and huffed. “What is the matter?” I asked. “Stupid underwires are digging in,” she.
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