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We had a place for the night. I'd wangled a billet for us. It was inside, near a stove but on the floor. I had a couple of beers, just to be friendly and all, then found my way to my bed.I woke up with a furry rug on top of me. It had two legs, two arms and a gently snoring head. I was wearing Josie like a coverlet. I gathered her up in my arms and lay on my side, and soon was back asleep.Come the dawn we were awakened by the cooking shift coming on. We were tucked out of the way towards the back of the stove but still the noise was enough to wake me up and keep me there. Josie slowly stretched, looked up at me then rubbed her face all over my chest. Uh oh, she was scent marking me.We headed off for the outhouses. She needed one more than me after that meal the day before. Soon we were sitting down to fried pork on fresh bread for breakfast with big cups of tea. "So, do you know where we are?" Sure. This is the village of Two Rivers. They've always been friendly to us." Good. Now, I. “You have too much built-up sexual energy that must be released. If I don’t liberate your vagina soon, it will attract some unfriendly spirits that will harvest the energy in more painful ways. Your vagina tries to signal you to release this energy, and if unsuccessful too many times, it will signal to us lust fairies for assistance.”“What?!" Stephanie screamed as she shook her head.“Look, your vagina has a defense mechanism which is triggered when your sexual arousal is too high and not satisfied. I believe this is what you humans call being horny. If you continue to ignore these signals you are at risk of attracting unfriendly spirits who will harvest your sexual energy by force, be it demons or other dark entities. I believe your culture refers to these spirits as incubuses. When your sexual energy begins to peak at this level, your vagina signals for help and it’s my job to liberate it.” Arianna saluted Stephanie as a soldier would their commanding officer.“You can’t be serious..
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