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John had me lay down on his bed while he kissed my body all over. I was the hardest I had ever been in my life. John asked me if I had ever had sex before and I told him I had messed around with a girl before but I had never been with a guy before. He asked me if I would like him to suck on my clit, which when he said that started bouncing up and down. He took that as a yes and moved my panties to the side. He was able to get the whole thing plus my balls in his mouth. It is easy to do when there is only three inches to work with. He sucked me for a little bit and then asked me if I would like to suck his cock. I told him I would and got up on my knees and undid his belt. After I got his belt off I pulled his pants down and was amazed at how big his cock was. I had never seen one that big before. He had a nine inch cock and it was very thick. I started liking his head, and then I licked the shaft. After get his shaft wet I was stroking his cock and went to work on his. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in my life but Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks. I want my happy ending too, dammit. I want kids and a loving husband. A family to come home to that will be excited to see me with hugs, kisses and I love you's. I want my husband to come up behind me and hug me while I wash dishes in my sweats and an old,.
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