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She'll ruin you andleave you crying at the altar." Again with the giggles.Jake finally came into our room. He was decked out from head to heels.It was an hour before the ceremony was to begin. There was a knock atthe door. I answered it. It was a woman dressed in a tux. "Who are you?"I asked.I'm the groom. You're a cutie. I need to see Jaqueline." Hi, baby. I'm here," Jake said. I moved to block Angelika. "You're not supposed to see the bride beforethe wedding."Lissa and Denise stepped forward and pulled me back from the door. Jake- sorry, Jacqueline, stood in the middle of the room. "Ready?" Angelikasaid.He nodded and hiked up the skirt of his wedding dress until it was abovehis waist. He had on a garter belt and stocking, but no panties. Thebridesmaids came forward and Denise produced an electric trimmer. I wasdirected to take the hem of the dress and keep it up. Jacqueline hadtrimmed himself in the past and displayed only a landing strip about aninch wide and two inches in length.. Helen’s mother came in brandishing a tea pot with curlers and a hair style that suggested she had either been hit by lightening or had come out the worst in an argument with a Van De Graff generator, though it might have been due to her sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle.“Oh father you do go on, out Helen is a good lass she can speak proper and doesn’t kill fat people like her Twin brother, Gerald” she smiled as she poured tea into father’s mug.“Oh yes Gerald the prize of the family, if he did not have that pathological hatred for fat people, he could of gone far in life had he not tried to harpoon those fat women at the local baths” he said“Oh yes, he was thinking he was Captain Ahab that day .. And not that substandard version with Patrick Stewart but the Gregory Peck one, dragged away half drowned when they caught him”“Aye he was stabbing that fat woman for twenty minutes with his harpoon before she cottoned on”“So what is the news you have for us Helen … you.
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