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I was completely under her control. I craved these moments of discipline, of being dominated by a woman... a smaller woman only doubled the my feelings of shame and excitement."Fucking pathetic," she grunted as she readjusted herself in the chair. I patiently waited in front of her.Without a word, she aggressively clutched the front of my shirt and pulled me towards her left side. Forcibly grabbing and putting a tight squeeze on my right wrist she jerked my right arm across to let me know to get over lap. I slumped over, making sure I stuck my bottom out just right, otherwise I knew I'd be punished twice as hard.I was now laying over her lap, facing the entrance of the room, my bottom facing before the glass doors behind me. Even though I had my pants pulled up, I felt vulnerable to the possible eyes and hears near the backyard.Her left hand took hold of the back of my pyjamas and pushed them up towards my shoulders making the pants tighten over my bottom and making the position even. I lay on my small bed while trying to make a plan. I don’t do drifting into things. I do react to things, and I do make things happen, but I don’t do drift. Gus being in the hospital was having a bigger effect on me than I expected. Sure I liked the old fart, but I knew for sure that I didn’t love him. At least not the way husbands and wives love each other. So what about Chris? How did she figure into it. She was going to be there with Gus for the long haul knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to be. So what should I do about Chris? If there was going to be conflict, I knew that in the end she had to win Since that were the case should I go ahead and take a walk. I wasn’t worried about surviving it, I knew I could. I also knew Gus could survive whatever happened, but what about Chris could I risk alienating her. She would be the one who would be there for Gus at the end. Hell Gus was almost seventy. The end couldn’t be too far away. I knew me, I couldn’t deal with that kind of.
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