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The whole experience was fun; it just wasn't emotionally satisfying. It wasn't romance. I needed a real relationship, a lasting partnership. In time and with a great deal of luck, good things can happen. It happened to me. I think it is on one of Sinatra's songs where he sings, "Someone drops a sigh and down you tumble." That's pretty much how this happened. One day while watering my plants at our Village community garden, I watched as a young woman tended her tomato crop. She was so careful to give each plant tender loving care. It was if they were her children, but the vines had very little fruit. She caught me staring, and came over to my garden. "Hello, I'm Stephanie. I see you here quite often. You have a beautiful garden. I wish I could grow tomatoes like yours." "Hi. I'm Tom. When you've been gardening as long as I have, you'll have great tomatoes too." "What's the secret?" she asked. "Oh Stephanie, I'd have to kill you if I told you." At first she was stunned, then caught on. She was also laughing hysterically. We finished our cigarettes and sheagain closed the car windows. I felt very ashamed and humiliated. Themotel was right off the freeway. She had stopped laughing and I noticedwe were slowing down right before Starbucks. Apparently, I had the lookof terror in my eyes and she started laughing again and sped up. In twomore minutes, we pulled up to the motel and she dropped me off.When I walked in the door, I expected to see Maria, the woman who hadhelped trap me while trying on dresses. Instead, there was a largeintimidating white woman there who introduced herself as Sara. She wasvery tall and very solid with heavy dramatic makeup. She was six inchestaller than me and probably outweighed me by 50 pounds. She said, "Youmust be the new maid, sign this paper." I wasn't going to put my realname, so I wrote "Vanessa S". She then told me to follow her into theback office.She instructed me to sit down in front of a white screen. She told methat she was going.
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