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I guess ever since then I've sort of filtered my thinkingfor anything that could be construed like that. Kind of a homophobia."Julia nodded, but didn't say anything. I wondered what she was thinking.Was she ashamed that she had taken pleasure from my frustration? Thinkingof dumping me now that she knew that I wasn't into her kink? Mad at theway I had spoken?Well, she had just opened the door for me with her question. "What's upwith you, then," I asked. "Why do you like men who don't have genitals?"She winced, but didn't say anything. When I'd about come to the conclusionshe wasn't going to answer, she finally spoke. "It's not men withoutgenitals so much, Mike, although I do like that. It's sexual contactwithout any masculine parts to get in the way. Or to get in me. I don'tlike the idea of a man inside me. I don't know how you'll feel about thisif you're homophobic, but I think I'm kind of a lesbian."Hmm. Well, I had to give her points for being honest about it. I grinnedat her. Emerson…I was full of curiosity just looking at the two of them there, opposite each other. Lou had a book open and I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Was it poetry and Whitman or something else? I thought about leaving but was glued to the spot…FINISH DAMN YOU LOU…was my thought. Then I felt ashamed…she was my best friend after all and they were just reading. Then I remembered that is what I had been doing when things got out of hand. She stood up, closed her book and walked past me out the door…she winked at me and smiled…a thrill went through me…what did she know? I was really nervous that she might know something but how could she?“Come in, Sherry,” he said. I got up and walked in, closing and locking the little office door as I did and stood beside him. I knew I was blushing and he took my hand, saying: “You look especially nice, Sherry.” I looked down at him. “I dressed for you today,” I said and he squeezed my hand, pulling me to him, his hand at my waist. .
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