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We had some incredible plans, plans that we made right here. It’s time to start acting on them.’ I was truly in shock. I had trained my mind not to think about him. I had been able to start a new life and I learned things about myself I hadn’t expected to. The void in my heart had been healing, or at least it wasn’t as painful. I stayed quite busy with the day-to-day demands of living in a foreign country, which helped to distract me. Yet, to see him there, sitting in front of me, I could feel all the old feelings beginning to surface. I just couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge or accept them – not yet. ‘I need a little time to digest this news. Can we talk more in the morning? You must be exhausted anyway.’ ‘Yeah, it’s been a long trip, but being here with you makes it worthwhile. And I’m not going to lose you again, you know that, don’t you?’ He took my hand and gently pulled me close. His lips touched mine, pulled back. I still didn’t dare bring myself to respond. He stood up.. This couldn't continue over the long haul. And the thingswere uncomfortable over longer periods of time. I had to find somethingbetter. And the problem with letting down my hair. I hoped she'd forgetthat.##On the toilet, where I naturally sat to pee, I came up with a furtherproblem. In back my skirt was completely rumpled up. I had sat down justas I did in other skirts, but that didn't work with the pleats. I triedas well as it went to smooth things out with my hands.I got dressed again and looked at myself in the mirror. With the redpantyhose my outfit looked really good. Not at all little-girl-like. Itpleased me. Again. Quickly I turned away before the girl in me put oneven more airs.When I sat down again in the kitchen, I smoothed my skirt out beneathme. Good that I couldn't see myself. It was such a feminine gesture. Andit wasn't much better when I found myself playing with a pigtail whilelost in my thoughts.In the next several hours the skirt-smoothing became so natural that.
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