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.." And she leaves me as soon as she gets bored of me." Maybe not. Or you let her have some no-strings-attached fun with agirl..." And she leaves me when she realizes she's bored of me!" Calm down. Is this really making you insecure?" She told me I wasn't enough for her, didn't she? How am I supposed torespond?" No, I doubt that's how she feels but you should try being enough forher and that...I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I guess what Imean is what if you were that woman?" Okay, you lost me." I mean what if she got to act out her fantasy of being with a womanwith you as the woman? Roleplaying is great for some couples. She getssome satisfaction without having to go outside the relationship and youget the satisfaction of being the only one she wants or something likethat. You know what? Forget it, it's a crazy idea." It could work. I'll ask her if she wants to try it but I don't thinkI'd make for an attractive woman." Really? You know I'm good with makeup, right?. I couldn't tell her of my despair to her face. I left my letter on Ada's pillow. I packed a bag and told Pearl that I would be back in a week. One of my fishing buddies had a 26' fishing boat so I woke him up and asked if I could borrow it for a week.I drove to the marina and pulled out into the Columbia, figuring I'd mostly float down to Astoria and motor back up the river. I'd do a little fishing and try to figure out what had happened to my life.As I quietly floated down the river, maintaining just enough power to steer, I tried to make sense of it all. I watched the lights from the houses along the river as I went by... at first they were twinkling... then twinkling off, becoming as dark as my soul.ENDINGS... AND BEGINNINGS"'Hope' is the thing with feathers—That perches in the soul—"Emily DickinsonThe light from the hallway made me aware of my surroundings. I must have been awake for fifteen minutes or so when the nurse came in to check on me. I hadn't been thinking or anything —.
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