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Then I got mad, I guess because she was mad, and I started yelling back at her. This verbal battle lasted for some time. But we had promised never to go to bed angry and we did keep that promise that night. However it took until 2AM before we both said sorry, hugged and kissed, and went to bed. I don't know if we weren't mad anymore or if we were just tired, but we finally got to bed.This event was the worst argument that we ever had and taught us both a valuable lesson. We never again let our anger override our respect and love for each other. There were still a few little spats but we would take a time out until we could discuss the problem sensibly. A few months later we could talk about that night and laugh at ourselves. But it wasn't funny while it was going on.One year and eight months after our wedding I found out that there was another level of happiness. Beth and I had a daughter. I think my happiness gland went on the fritz from overwork. Alyssa June, named after my mom and. How had Ireally felt? What was this telling me about myself? If anything?I decided finally that it was all a test. The fact that I wasembarrassed told me that it was not some kink that I secretly desired. Itruly felt confidence in my own manliness, my masculinity. It had nevereven occurred to me that I was or wanted to be anything but a man. Aboutthat I had no doubt.So it had to be a test on A_'s part. But what kind of test and did Ipass or fail? I had no clue.I started to throw out the bra and thong in disgust. Then I just wrappedthem up and put them in a small box and put the box in a bag. I mightneed to return them to A_ or something. I did not want to burn anybridges even if I would not be going back there. Where-ever there was?Then I remembered the previous nights masturbation. A sense of shamepassed through me. I quickly got out some of my porn and began tomasturbate the way I usually did. I quickly got hard and in no time Icame. I immediately felt better about myself. Whatever.
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