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. she COULD check on her makeup, since no one needed her attention for now, she reckoned. Desperately, she looked at the door to the staffs bathroom. She could actually risk it. "Why the hell not?", she was thinking to herself. It's not like she had other shit to do, as there still weren't any people at the gas station. She smiled excited and couldn't believe she actually enjoyed the lack of customers for once. She quickly grabbed her light-pink colored purse with those golden zippers and headed straight to the staff-toilet.The bathroom actually really wasn't that awful as she thought it would be. It was clean, smelled ok and the toilet worked without any problems. SO glad I don't have to use the public toilet!, she thought as a disgusted shiver ran down her spine.She put the purse on the washbasins shelf and examined herself in the window. Damn, I am a mess, she thought. For her standards, she really was. The long shift, desert heat and shitty problem with her ex did their job. She. It sounds like you saw it coming, “ I wondered.“It’s abuse, Jon. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t really understand it.” Her tone was neutral and resigned. “It’s been the same for me for the last eight years, longer maybe. I saw it with my momma for as long as I can remember. I suppose you come to expect it. I have nothing. Literally, nothing. So when someone starts to give me attention, it feels wonderful. It’s a cycle that just keeps going. I had a roof over my head and could keep myself clean. I had a job and felt like someone cared about me. The cost was having to put up with his bullshit. It starts slowly, with small things that you kind of dismiss. Then they began to be normal and new abuses were added. Before I knew it, he made me feel like I was worth nothing, and I should be lucky to have him. When he got rid of all my underwear, I already felt like I couldn’t fight back, he had full control of me. I used to come home after payday and he was already at the bar spending.
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