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But it's the one thing I do remember from what Jean said that morning, 'They were both adults.' It doesn't matter what he did, even if he wooed her with money and fine wine and the whole works. She did it of her own free will. And she went back and did it again, time after time for three bloody months. That's my sticking point."Phil looked at me, maybe slightly surprised. "What do you mean, five times is acceptable but ten times isn't?" Well I'm not sure about even five times, but maybe, just maybe, once might have been excusable. Maybe we've had a row, he plies her with drink and flattery, et cetera. She falls for it. Maybe I would have to forgive that. But to go back, deliberately, time after time, that I can't get over. It isn't even the sex as such. It's the decision to betray me and our marriage for months on end that I can't get over. Even if I could understand what made her do it, if I could find a way of forgiving her, I still don't see how I can forget."I felt exhausted, and. Dopo che c'eravamo conosciuti, non era passatomolto tempo prima che io gli raccontassi il mio "segreto". Allora lui nonaveva reagito in maniera particolare, ma suppongo che fosse perch? nonpensava che io avrei poi effettivamente cambiato sesso.Ma adesso era diverso. Dopo 35 anni di attesa (la scoperta della miatransessualit? risale a quanto avevo 9 anni), era venuto per me il momentodi adeguare il mio corpo al mio vero genere. Non era certo stata unadecisione facile, ma ormai ero determinata. E la mia sensazione era cheAchref, con la sua dolcezza e la sua delicatezza, avesse in larga partecontribuito a quest'evoluzione. Quando ci eravamo messi assieme, lui miaveva rivelato immediatamente che voleva penetrarmi. Io volevo con tuttame stessa che questo accadesse, per? fino ad allora gli uomini (gay) concui ero stata avevano reso la penetrazione anale tutto tranne che unpiacere. Chi era troppo irruento, chi non sapeva come farmi rilassare...nonostante morissi dalla voglia di essere.
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