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I thought about not replying, what with having Ben’s father lying inches away from me, but curiosity already had his hands around the cat’s neck, and you know, it was Ben. Frowning slightly, and with one eye on the gently undulating mass of blubber at the side of me, I tapped out a quick reply.Not sleeping. What do you want?Quickly, his reply came back. I set my phone to silent just in time.Why can’t you sleep?Knowing but not wishing to divulge the true answer (“your father has alcohol-induced penile dysfunction”), I returned to him the slightly vagueI don’t know. Why are you still awake?There was a slight pause this time before his answer came back to me.Stressful day at work. Can’t seem to nod off.Sympathising, I nodded. Richard’s gelatinous mass shuddered somewhere in the depths of the bedclothes but did not stir. Still light-headed from the wine I sent him a playful response.Tried counting sheep?If we had had videophones I still wouldn’t have been able to see is grin as clearly. It wasn't much of an improvement. What was more when he went to speak the subtle perfume of his breath practically pinned Deborah to the back of the cage."What's your name?" the ogre said."Deborah," the fairy answered, coughing a bit at the fetid smell of cabbage and old cheese.The ogre shook his head. "No it's not. You're a fairy. Fairies aren't called Deborah. Least ways not outside Fairy Porn. You weren't in Debbie Does The Pixies were you? Hurr. Fairies are called 'Buttercup' or 'Peasblossom' or 'Cowslip'.Though in your case it might be 'Cowsarse' I suppose. Hurr, hurr!"That's unfair, thought Debbie looking behind her, although the short skirt of her dress did make her bum look a bit big. She called herself Deborah because it seemed a lot more fun than 'Snowdrop'. Deborah, Debbie, Debs, all of those were fine but 'Snowdrop'? It wasn't her at all! It would have to do for the ogre, though. "It's Snowdrop. Deborah Snowdrop. Why don't you let me go?" She tried a winning smile at the.
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