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What would things have been like if I had told her how I felt about her way back then, before GTO? Before she fled from me? Megan was still playing with her wedding ring. I wondered what she was thinking about. When I looked at her eyes, her gaze was directed at the ring. She was frowning. I turned away from her and sighed. It was almost too much to bear, just being in her presence. A flood of old feelings had begun to wash over me when I first saw her, as if they had lay dormant for years, waiting for some sort of signal to flow forth. ‘You look… good,’ I said, finally. I didn’t know why I said it. I just felt that I needed to break the silence. I think I was afraid that if we couldn’t engage in some sort of conversation, it would be easy for her to simply get up and find someone more interesting to talk to. If that happened, I’d be almost sure never to see her again. ‘Thanks,’ she said, smiling slightly. Our eyes met. ‘You look good, too.’ I doubted that she meant it, but it felt. Squinting against the bright sun, she tugged at the sash. A gust of wind blew through the front room unsettling dust and smoke. As the staleness cleared from the room, her stomach gave a low grumble. Had she forgotten to eat? Had she emptied that cereal bowl yesterday or the day before? She couldn’t remember. OK. She’d eat. She passed the fireplace en route to the kitchen and flicked her cigarette butt into the ashes. Little bits of charred lace of the coverlet from the bed were still visible. If she could have found a way to set fire to the mattress without damaging the rest of the apartment or her building she would have burned that, too. It’s not like she could ever sleep there again…not after…The couch was more comfortable anyway. With a sudden haste, she tugged the ratty sweatshirt over her head. It still reeked of his expensive cologne. She’d emptied the bottle on herself before violently smashing it on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. The broken glass was still there..
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