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The feel of the stockings and silky panties against my skin made me so turned on and unbelievably horny. I walked in front of the mirror with my eyes closed and stood for a moment. Seeing myself dressed in girly underwear was going to be moving into the domain of the unknown. What would I think of myself? Every time before I had looked down but never looked at myself full on. I opened my eyes and looked. I did look amazing but was racked with guilt and the thought that if anyone knew what I was doing I would be shunned, an outcast. I loved the look and got so turned on I had to kneel down and play with myself, watching all the time. It worked, and it was truly wonderful. Over the next twenty years I did it increasingly until one day I found myself alone and divorced. The idea came to me that since I still loved dressing and wanted to do it more that maybe I should try going a bit further. I went on the net and found some places where I could get underwear and makeup and stuff without. "I know," she said. "It will be all right. I'm not worried about you on this one. Do what you have to do."By 'this one', she meant as opposed to the first time I had been forced to kill to protect an innocent. She had wept for what it cost me to kill the two dirty Las Vegas cops that were hunting for Phoebe, the thirteen-year-old runaway who was the key that finally unlocked the pedophile slave ring I was in Vegas to stop. I had tried everything I could think of to find a way out of killing them; Jamie calling Sandra Atkins had been my last resort, but no one was willing to step in. Rod and Rebecca had no proof of what was happening and therefore no legal grounds. Atkins knew the truth — enough of it anyway — but wouldn't risk exposing her people by interfering in what was, on the surface, a legitimate police investigation. In the end I was the only one who could stop them. I knew why Lizzy had cried, knew what it would cost me, and what it had cost her to see me go through it, but.
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