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Maybe abandonment is something I should be used to by now. My own mother didn’t love me enough to stay. Maybe I’m the problem. I make people want to run in the opposite direction because I’m cursed. If Landon, Ella, and my dad leave me tomorrow, I really shouldn’t be surprised. I’m just all shades of fucked, and it’s not entirely because of Tristan. People like me don’t deserve to be loved. Why would anyone want me when there are people like Chrissie McAlister and Tristan Northam in the world? Hell, if I was anyone else, I wouldn’t even give me a second glance. I know I have low self-esteem, but that’s something I’ve made peace with. I thought that if I were to transform into this gnarly stud, I would feel better about myself. I’ve discovered that nothing will change if things don’t change on the inside—and last time I checked, I’m still the same old loser version of myself. So, with that said, biceps or not, six pack or not, I still feel like the lamest person alive. I should’ve. After about three or four minutes I said lets try something new and she just stopped sucking waiting for me to guide her. I then said ok, now turn around and get over the top of me. She soon realised what I was suggesting and she said is this right and we were in the 69 position and I said thats perfect – now you can resume where you left off and I can begin to lick you out at the same time.She said this is unreal, I love it. It is so much fun, I don’t know what I enjoy most. I said I can enjoy this but I actually prefer one on one – this way you cant concentrate on giving and receiving at the same time. I like to make sure I am giving the best performance I can. She said I don’t mind – this is heaven for me – god I wish I had met you 18 years ago. I have wasted 18 years of great fucking on him.After a while I came and as I was cumming she was swallowing and in her ecstasy she started to cum as well and the two of us virtually came at the same time and had our orgasms together giving.
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