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I knew I only had options in theory, not in practice, I knew I could never have the strength to walk away from this. From him. I had imagined this day for too many years. I grasped the cool metal, turning it slowly, drinking in the anticipation. The door swung wide, I could see him, perched on the edge of a broad white bed. Strong tanned hands either side of him as he peered out of the open window at the summer evening. The door startled him and he turned around, the sight of me, standing still in the doorway surprised him, his eyes widened and glimmered some unknown emotion. ‘Maggie’ He whispered my name like a prayer to the gods, a sweet lyrical thank you. My knees buckled at the charged atmosphere, I fell forward to the bed as he slid across it. We met in the middle, a tangle of limbs. ‘James, James you’ll never know how much I missed you.’ my voice was barely audible behind the sob in my throat. ‘I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done’ ‘No Maggie, I’m sorry, I’ve. As the theme began, I began my song that was more like a conversation with those listening about my mother.The first time through wasn't that good, so I did the intro all over again and began to gently sing the words and this time they came smooth and sounded sincere the second time through the theme.When was that first memory of my mother as a little boy?I remember how my mother was always chasing me like a toy.She tried to protect me, she tried to teach me,But she always let me be that crazy little boy.I learned from Dad and I learned from Grandpa,But the big influence when I was little was from my mamaShe would play the piano, play her guitar, and sing to make me smile,To make me dance, to put me to sleep, but always to tell me I was her special 'chile'.I remember those special hugs, I remember falling asleep being held against her.I remember falling asleep with her gentle voice singing softly to me.I miss her and all that she gave me. That I can't tell her once again how much I.
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