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The conservative says, "Who stole half my water?"The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air.The politician says that's not my glass, mine was bigger.The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.The. Tell me."Sharon's eyes searched his face and found nothing but love and concern. "Poor little Tig!" she cried bursting into tears. "Louise told me about Edinburgh and then Neil filled me in on the rest. It shouldn't happen to such a sweet girl," she howled. "And poor darling Deborah! Oh God, you must be going through hell, my darling man." She continued to sob into Richard's shoulder."Sharon, darling, did they speak to you?" No-o-o, so I couldn't warn you. Why didn't they speak to me? Have I done something wrong/" No, my sweet. You told us that Tig would be safe. She was. Alison and Doug made sure of that because Neil had organised them. They didn't and haven't let you down. Have they?"Sharon looked at him through tear-filled eyes and shook her head."So you haven't let us down either, have you?"Sharon shook her head again."Deborah and Annette are taking everything in their stride so what have you got to get yourself in a state about?"Sharon's eyes filled with tears again. "You!" she.
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