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"The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?" I'm a taxidermist," says the man.The bartender, looking very bewildered, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-dermist?"The man says, "I mount animals."The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 am. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 am, Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy. And my frilly white panties. I really like those, they're ruffled, and have a cute blue silk bow in front. You know: "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." I can't wait for Stewart to discover the adorable little bow, on our wedding night a week from this Saturday, as he undresses me for the first time as "Mrs. Stewart Panderwayste." I was rudely interrupted in this pretty thought."Jesus, for a college cunt, you sure are stupid." What? Watch your mouth, I'm not some truck-stop trash like you run around on my sister with. What are you talking about?" Your panties. They need to go on outside the garter. How can they be pulled off like that?" Fine, why don't you just take them off me completely then, you oaf?" Oh, no. We need to put them on first so that they can come off later, believe me. Part of the whole effect. We got to change them around."He reached for the front pair of snaps on my garters, separating the straps and then feeding them down and through.
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