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He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers. Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay. “What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking. Julia headed straight for the bar and poured herself a stiff drink, then sat down to think about her situation. The more she thought, the more she wanted another drink. The rest of the evening was hazy at best. Only small snatches of conversation stuck out in her mind. ‘Julia! I’m making my signature cocktail, come have one,’ she remembered the senior staff writer calling to her. She had quickly finished her drink to try his mystery concoction. ‘Who’s up for a game of quarters?’ one of the young photographers had shouted. ‘Julia? You in?’ She had agreed. From then on all she had was flashes of memory: sitting on the floor when no chairs were available, trying to find a radio so she could dance, leaning her forehead against the cool window pane and thanking it for feeling so nice. Everything after that was completely blank. Her reminiscing didn’t get her any closer to figuring out where she had woken up. She assumed someone from the office had taken her home with them, and she had.
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