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"How tired are you?" Darla asked. "I mean, do you have the energy to make the slightest effort?" I will always have that much energy and more," he said and started to reach for the string bow at her neck."No, not now, not yet," she said. "You have muscle kinks and knots, right?" I thought I did. I'm not certain I do now." Do you have a hard-on?" Yes." Is it so hard it would be painful for you to walk with me to my mother's house to use the hot tub?" I'll manage," he said.She walked around the bar, bare legs flashing."Should I get a suit?" he asked.She snorted. "Not this time of night. Not with me."She took his hand and they walked out of her house and along the path to Carol's house, but around the side of the house to the hot tub. It was on and bubbling, steam rising in the night air."I assumed I could talk you into joining me, so I turned on the hot tub earlier," Darla said. "That might sound presumptuous of me, but if you'd been too tired, I wouldn't have pressed you. I would've. I had known since myearliest awareness of the differences between boys and girls that Ishould have been born a girl.For decades, my main coping strategy was denial. I thought if I gotmarried and fathered a child (since I could never be a mother), it mighthelp to ease this feeling. I was so very wrong. Being with thisbeautiful woman and beautiful child only intensified my feelings.When I first laid eyes on Charlotte, my strongest emotion was not lust,but envy. I looked at her womanly curves, her lustrous natural red hairthat fell below her shoulders, her perfect heart-shaped face, and Iwanted nothing more in the world than to inhabit her body. I should haveseen that as a warning sign.One night a few months ago I blurted out my secret to Charlotte. We hadboth already gotten ready for bed. She was wearing a lovely, lacy sheerblack nightgown. (How I wished I had a body that could display sexyclothing that way). I was hoping for some degree of acceptance andunderstanding. In my wildest.
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