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I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!!If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in. You tried to keep in touch, but Mike was one of those guys who never really grew up past college, and you were "going places." Well, you were up until a couple of months ago. The problem was Mike had a bit of an obsession with casual sex. After he left college, every decision he made appeared to have been led by his cock. He once left you in the middle of the street because he saw a hot girl on a passing bus. He once bought baseball season tickets because he realised he'd be sitting next to a girl he'd been chasing for 6 months. This didn't fit with your ambition, and when Amy came along she persuaded you to cut him out because he was "holding you back". Well, from where you were standing now, it looked like Mike, business-suited and clean-shaven, was the successful one. You wished you'd put on clean sweatpants. Mike invited you to a bar across the street, and a couple of beers and an explanation later, he offered a solution."So it looks to me like there are two problems. You need.
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