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"She let go of the stick like it was white hot. "Why are you acting this way?" she cried.Ariel started to speak, then subsided."I know about the house and the rest." I said. "You need practice to be sneaky enough to put something that big past me."She dropped her eyes."Do you really think I am that damn stupid?" I asked. "I love you more than life itself. But I can't be with you if you are going to do things behind my back."I put my hand out and tilted her face up. Tears were streaming down her face and she was shaking like a leaf. "From now on, talk to me first. That's all I ask. If you want to help reach our goal of marriage, I'll happily accept any aid you offer. But we cannot afford to sneak around behind each other's backs like this. You would have hurt me less if you had beaten me with that stick."She threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around me so tight that my ribs ached, babbling promises that she would never ever go behind my back again, and begging me not to leave. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. Ran away from an irate mother bear, and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine.”Amazed by the story, the doctor said “You must be one hell of an outdoor woman!”“No” the woman replied “I’m just a really, really shitty golfer.”A young girl started work in the chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to people. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.“Look” he said. “My regular customers don’t ask for condoms, they’ll ask for a 110, which is a small, a 120, which is a medium, or a 130 which is a large. The word condom won’t even be used EVER!”The first day was fine but on the second day a black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said “150.”The girl panicked..
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