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" Hold back his hair please Wendy."Trish, one of the best make up artists in the industry is about to giveme the mother of all touch ups."You need to reapply the mascara Chrissy, here you go, you know how todo it yourself."I do as I'm told."Why aren't you wearing any eyeliner or eyeshadow?"I search for an answer that would please her."You're still nervous about wearing too much make up, aren't you?" It's just that it's daytime and everything," I say quietly, she'sfunny and a close friend but I'm afraid every answer that I give willbe wrong,"Have you got any with you?"I shake my head."Don't worry Trish the Magnificent has her bag of tricks." Please Trish. No thanks, I don't want to look too slutty." Slutty? I thought you were hoping for a matinee?I shake my head."Please Trish, it's daytime and I think the dress says it all, I don'twant to be too out there." Hold still, Trish the Wonderful will give you the desired look," shesays, she as attacks my eyes.While this is happening, Debbie. Wurzel put it better."I've seen better looking bitches in Battersea Dog's Home!"Ah well, beggars can't be choosers so it was up to us to find the best of breed for the night! Wurzel spotted a couple of likely sorts and we moved in on them."Evening ladies, mind if we join you?"He sat down and beamed at the two rather buxom 'girls' who were probably pushing 40, or had even pushed over that age. He was the best chatter-upper in the battalion, even better than Gino. Didn't have Gino's good looks but had this open friendly way that soon had people, men, women, kids and dogs, all warming to him."I'm Al, this is Des;" he said "he's buying so what are you drinking?"The quickest way through a tart's knickers is by gin and tonic, and so it proved with this pair.I went up to the bar for the drinks and as I waited to be served this yummy mummy sort came up behind me. I had noticed her as soon as we had entered the place. Most of the females in the Ambassador were wearing tarty clothes, usually.
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