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I hoped it would be soon. At least for Tony and my father's sake. My mother seemed to be taking her transformation into a man very well. I wondered why.I took a look around my room. I noticed that it did seem a little neater than it was before. I tried not to be a messy slob. I did try my best to organize my CDs, videotapes, books, and comics. But now it seemed that while most of my collections were still intact, they took up a bit less space. I did note that some comics in my collection were missing, but those weren't issues I really felt like re-reading much anyway. I had been thinking of selling them.I then stopped by the bathroom on my way downstairs. I realized that going to the bathroom would be different from now on. That is, assuming the transformation was irreversible. Why was I assuming it was? I didn't really know. Probably because very few of the Fictionmania protagonists who were transformed by bizarre accidents ever got transformed back. I wondered if I even wanted to. ”I smiled. “That’s your street name, but since you gave me my Sunday school name, I’ll give you yours.” I scanned the room with a smile. “How about we call him, Loud Shit-face, hmmm?” The class went wild.The rest of the hour went about as well.“Before we leave, remember, if you tell anyone your Sunday school names, you’ll never be taught by this Stupid, White Cunt again.”I gave myself a twenty percent chance of surviving until next week. By surviving, I meant not getting knifed in my sleep. Somehow, I considered the possibility of a miracle, I continued to lecture the Sunday school kids for over a year. Sample themes:How Jesus Brought Whores to God.Blessed are the Persecuted for They will Fuck you in the EndPokemon May Not Have Souls, but They Do Have Cunts and Assholes.How God Cuckolded Joseph and Raped His Son into Mary.Steven Universe is God’s Way of Humbling False Goddesses, with Boy Cock.James Brown is actually the Trinity of Soul.My favorite will always be, “Mary’s Breast, Brown.
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