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"What did she do this time?" Just more of the same kinds of things, Tina." So you put her in a diaper? Wow, mom, way to go." I couldn't figure outwhy she was saying "she" and "her" except maybe because of the pinkplastic pants I was wearing."Tina, would you find one of your old dresses to cover her a littlebetter?" mom said. "I need to do a little clean up." I saw that therewas a big wet, goopy looking spot on the front of her dress and knewwhat she was talking about when she went into the kitchen. I hated whatwas going on and I'm sure I would have bitched about it loudly if Ididn't have the pacifier in my mouth. As much trouble as I was in, it'sprobably a good thing I didn't think of spitting the stupid thing out.I could hear the water run and my mom muttering with irritation in thekitchen and decided this was a good time to keep my mouth shut and justgo along with whatever. What would she do next if I got in more troublethan I was already in.Even keeping quiet didn't keep me from. .”“CARL!”“It was worth a try!”The waiter brought our drinks, and we looked over the menu and I reviewed the wine list. I decided to splurge on a nice bottle of Pouilly Fuisse. In just a few days I was going to be dining with some people a whole lot less decorative than Marilyn.“I still can’t believe you’re going across the country next week,” she told me.“It’ll be fun. You should come along!”“No way! I think you’re just going to chase girls and drink and smoke pot,” she said, smiling.“No on one, yes on two and three,” I said with a shrug.“I’m not sure I believe you.”“This is my only chance to do this. My next two summers I’ll be camping with the Army.” I told her.“I still can’t believe you’re going into the Army.”I shrugged. “It’s not like I have a choice. Uncle Sam is paying for college for me, and he’s looking for some payback. If my father could do it during World War II and my grandfather could do it during World War I, I guess I can survive it now. At least nobody’s shooting at.
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